Alcohol is the bee’s knees. As long as you’re not abusing it or letting it affect yourself or others in a harmful way, it can add a very fun dimension to your social life. And just how your taste in clothes or music defines your personality, so can your gustatory preference for imbibing booze (according to market research by Mindset Media and the Ros Taylor Group). Ready to learn more about yourself?
Domestic Light Beer (Bud Light, Miller Light)
Their Take: You’re a respectful person that’s easy to get along with.
My Take: You’re not picky, you have a low budget, or you’re dieting. High fives.
Craft Beer/Imports (Blue Moon, Heineken, Sam Adams)
Their Take: Politically left-leaning, outgoing, extroverted. You’re intellectually curious and open-minded, interested in new and varied experiences.
My Take: You drink to relax but you also appreciate the taste of good beer. Huzzah!!!
“Other” Beers (Smirnoff Ice, Mike’s Hard Lemonade)
Their Take: You just have a sweet tooth for sugary drinks.
My Take: If you’re male, you are a fool.
Wine (Bottled and Some Boxed)
Their Take: You’re mature, less likely to take risks, and probably have a solid professional career going. Comfort and refined tastes appeal to you; crazy adventures do not.
My Take: You’re definitely mature and enjoy fine cuisines, potluck dinners, and good music to pair with your wine. And just like the tannins in wine, you like to mellow out.
Gin (Bombay Sapphire, Tanqueray)
Their Take: Comfort and security appeal to you, which means you focus on relationships and home life. Rather than a “head in the clouds” approach, “realistic” suits you better.
My Take: Rather than a “head in the clouds”, you prefer “head in the toilet”.
Rum (Goslings, Captain Morgan, Bacardi)
Their Take: Experimental, creative, impulsive, slightly eccentric. You’re more likely the type of person to enjoy jazz and art.
My Take: It gives you bad hangovers and makes your breath smell like a bear claw pastry. You probably drank a lot of it thanks to the promo girls at the bar.
Tequila (Patron, Jose Cuervo)
Their Take: You’re outgoing, fun to be around, a free spirit unconcerned with consequences.
My Take: You are a crazy son of a b*tch with no consideration for consequences.
Whisky (Maker’s Mark, Jameson, Macallan)
Their Take: You have an air of confidence, authority, and discerning quality about you. How you take it (rocks, neat, soda) says even more about your idiosyncrasies.
My Take: YOU ARE AN AWESOME HUMAN BEING.
So it’s not a surprise that a lot of people enjoy alcohol in one format or another. Like food, music, and other interests pertaining to the senses, it reaches out to regions of our brain that deal with pleasure. My message, therefore, is to let alcohol enhance your social life by strengthening social bonds that tend to be brought out more when you’re raising a glass. Just have some self-awareness and know how to properly maximize your fun, deal with stress, or really get to know someone better.
And on that note….
Okay, so where do we start? Every blog has to have a point, right? A general theme, focus, or message that the writer tries to impart to the unwitting reader that got sucked into a random blog because he or she is procrastinating at work or looking for a way to putt off doing laundry. If you’re looking for that aimless excuse then you’ve found it here – welcome! It’s the same aimless excuse I’m using to write this blog….
Hold on a sec while I take sip of Scotch. Ah, that’s better.
From here on out, I’m gonna attempt (emphasis on “attempt”) to post keen observations about how we interact with people and then I’ll fumble around for a profound lesson to take from them. It’ll generally be a serious take on things but I’ll throw in some sarcasm and humor cuz otherwise it’ll be like reading Dante’s Inferno for high school. And you’ll quickly learn that one of my biggest influences is Bill Watterson who authored the comic strip, “Calvin and Hobbes” – this man is a sociological genius and he’s also the reason why I was such a cynical and sarcastic kid with a knack for mischief.
Here’s hoping this blog enthralls, enlightens, and entertains you. Cheers!