The Evolution of Dating As You Age

Dating. One of the most fun and sometimes nerve-racking activities out there. Regardless of whether your end goal is just having a good time or slapping a ring on that finger, strategy is different for each person and changes as they age.

Ever think about YOUR approach to dating? Let’s take a look at how stereotypes change over the years and examples of what not to do.


K-12: “The Wonder Years”

1(If you don’t get “The Wonder Years” reference I should slap you.) This is when kids start to realize they have a thing called “feelings” for other people. Most times, it happens before puberty hits so you may act like an idiot with that special crush but at least you’re not doing it cuz of something in your pants (yet).

Getting a First Date 
Teasing and hair-pulling (yes, this applies to grade school and high school). Impressing the other with brains or brawn (“I don’t know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand curls.”). Do you remember what you used to do as a kid or teenager?

What NOT To Do
   1) Overdoing it on teasing: In first grade, I sat behind a girl I had a crush on and decided to give her a haircut to get her attention. #Detention #FirstDateFail

   2) Getting too excited: When I was twelve, I finally got assigned the desk next to another crush and ended up puking all over her book bag. I thought it was nerves. Turned out it was flu.

   3) The friendship tip: Became good friends with a girl at another high school and asked her to prom. She excitedly said yes. The night before prom she called sobbing cuz she got back with her boyfriend and couldn’t go with me anymore. #JohnHughesMovieWhat


College to Your Early 30’s: The Real Fun Begins

This is when the playing field really opens up. You’re meeting single people left and right. There are endless parties and barhopping galore. Guys are running around like it’s hunting season and girls are just trying to survive the onslaught. This time of your life is like the attention deficit disorder of dating.

Getting a First Date 
Think about how you started up talking with that interesting someone. Go for the flirty approach? The funny angle? Did you sound like a human Twitter feed spouting off random lines trying to seem cool?

What NOT To Do
   1) Start a conversation by buying them a drink: The one and only time I tried this was epic face-plant. I’m at one end of the bar, she’s at the other. I thought to myself, “What can I lose?” I call the bartender over and ask him to get her another of whatever she’s drinking. Said bartender can be seen walking over to her, serving her another drink, and pointing at me down the way. Said girl leans over the bar, takes one look at me with a blank expression, and proceeds to walk away from the bar. Turns out I lost my pride….oh, and she took the drink with her.

   2) Throwing “play hard to get” back in their face: Sure, you don’t want to come on too strong but don’t do the opposite. I met a girl I really liked, tried hard to get her interested in me, got nowhere so just became her friend. The second I turned it off, she started to2 have feelings for me (so she told me years later). Kind of noticing her change in opinion and not wanting to scare her off again, I played hard to get. She ended up dating one of my buddies instead. #ThisHasHappenedTwiceNow #ImAnIdiot


Your Late 30’s and Beyond: The Pond Gets Smaller

A small sense of urgency. This is when all the wedding invites and baby pictures on Facebook really ramp up the pressure. (Side note: Is anyone else tired of friends posting up endless pictures of their kids, pets, or what they ate for dinner? It’s not that we don’t care but it gets old when they’re doing it 10+ times a week…) Standards drop to the point that an oddly placed mole or lazy eye doesn’t bother you as much on a date. The word of the day is “compromise”, right?

Getting a First Date 
Online dating, getting setup by your friends, hanging out at a coffee house pretending to read a book when you’re actually scoping out people to “bump into”. Where do grown-ups hang out, eh?

What NOT To Do
   1) Trying what you did in your 20’s: Meeting people in bars is tough enough when you’re young. Especially since most people don’t go out to get hit on as they get older and just want to hang out with friends. Don’t be that creepy guy or girl who hovers like a starved dog waiting to attack leftovers on the table.

   2) Ask your friends to set you up: While they’re all good intentioned, your non-single friends somehow develop the idea that you’d be a good match with “such and such” based solely on the fact that you’re both single. The only thing you have in common is that you both have ten fingers and ten toes….or in some unfortunate cases, not even.


what’s your end goal???

First, you’ve gotta make sure you’re dating for the right reasons. Don’t be selfish. Don’t get married just cuz everyone else is getting hitched and you don’t want to end up alone. Being with someone makes things better in life but don’t forget that they’re hoping the same thing from you.

3

“You’re so money and you don’t even know it!!”

Second, ignore all that “just be yourself” crap. The first ten or so dates should be treated carefully. It’s like doing your impression of Sloth from “The Goonies” on date #1 as opposed to date #15. Let the other person get comfortable before you weird them out.

Lastly, I’m guessing I’m not the only one tired of all the “dating is like a game” malarkey. “Did I call too soon?” “Should I wait two days?” (Swingers movie reference – a must add to your watch list) Over-think stuff and you’ll end up as a 62 year old hermit living with four dogs, two cats, and a turtle.

The game can be fun if you play it right. Just change up your strategy as your priorities change and keep getting back on that horse.

Best of luck!

Advertisements

One thought on “The Evolution of Dating As You Age

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s